On the last article, we talked about nutrition tips for making solid weight gains. This week I shall, with the same direct and intelligent approach, determine the training systems most suitable for packing on muscle fast.
Muscle Growth Takes Time
Before I get into the meat of the matter, or you might say, the iron of things (note the subtle, well-placed wit within my presentation of bland facts), let me assure you there is no fast way to pack on muscle. That’s a lie, a myth, marketing hype, a cruel promise and a sick joke. The muscles, God bless them, grow, but they, like, crawl into place. Muscles are not in a hurry; speed is not their thing. Besides taking their own sweet time to arrive, they are secretive. The more you look for them, the harder they are to find.
The rascals like to be left alone. You eat, you train hard, you rest, you believe and you smile. The rest is up to them. Down that tuna, push that iron, relax, think positive and have fun. You’re growing; ever so slowly, but you are growing. The workout routine matters, of course, but it doesn’t have to be a scientifically planned methodology complete with the careful manipulation of sets and reps in proportion to one’s one-rep max as determined by precisely detailed scale training. Oh, my, no. Spare me the dizzy, suffocating struggle of establishing and recording the increments of the weight engaged and the increase of repetitions applied. What? Are we in school or at the gym? Is this advanced math theory or elemental weightlifting? Are we students achieving a scholarly degree or a bunch of guys pounding the iron and getting huge? Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore... wiggle, wiggle, wiggle... may I go to the bathroom?
On the other hand, I don’t suggest you walk around the gym and lift whatever gets in the way... not that I don’t see that style of training on the gym floor every day. It’s very popular, in fact: What’s this? A dumbbell... crash, boom, bang... jeez, man. Ah, a cable thing... pull, swing, whoosh, tangle... now, they’re fun... like those. Hmmm... a big bar and bench... seen this before... under we go... oooff, grrrgh, clang, oomph, clunk, splurt pzush, crash. Gasp! Hope nobody saw that one... stinkin' bar’s probably bent. Interesting contraption... sit here, I’ll bet... grab these probably... and push... nope... pull... nope... Ahha... "Extend Legs Slowly and Completely -- Repeat." Kinda boring, ya ask me. Ah, my favorite... the chinning bar... I’ll just jump onto this baby... and pull... Huh?... pull 'n kick.... pull, kick 'n swing... oomph... pull, kick, swing 'n squeal... grips.... seethe... slip... wriggle... ping...oops, flop. I can’t move. Is that the exit? Zoom!
Bodybuilding Workout Routine Basics
Some overall basics, gentlemen:
- If you’re serious about your goals, train no less than four days a week and no more than five. If you’re just interested, train three days a week.
- You want to hit each muscle group twice a week, directly or indirectly.
- Provide 80-percent effort in your exercise input, saving 90 and 100 percent for those inspired sets of reps that colorfully dot your workouts. Focus is 100 percent, pace is a consistent and unhurried lean on your sets, and doubt is dashed by extra effort.
- Maintain order in your training, though like exercises can be occasionally interchanged during a series of workouts -- dumbbell presses for bench presses, preacher curls for dumbbell incline curls, leg presses for squats. I offer this latitude to trainees who know their training well enough to recognize a need for exercise replacement due to overload, discomfort or displeasure. I don’t support arbitrary changes in your routine; they must be purposeful. This freedom will be valuable in muscle growth and injury prevention, as well as provoking more thinking, and evaluating exercise worth and effectiveness.
- Complicated is out. Keep it simple and basic and don’t be afraid to superset (one exercise after the other performed with no rest in between). Supersets are tough and wonderful, and, though demanding, work for all levels of trainees. They are not reserved for leaning and defining the physique. Remember, you’re eating and building. The basics include assorted presses -- bench, standing, barbell, dumbbell; curls of all varieties -- standing barbell and dumbbell curls, incline and preacher curls, alternate dumbbell curls. There are cable pulldowns, cable rows, bentover bar and dumbbell rows, deadlifts, squats and leg presses. Don’t forget pullovers, cleans, chins and dips.
Too often I see a trainee with weight-gain intentions wasting his time with lightweight one-arm concentration curls or isolated upright cable rows or delicate one-arm cable lateral raises. Tap, tap, tap! Cute additions to a lackluster routine or nifty pumpies for a Sunday afternoon, but not the powerful basics we need to disturb the stubborn body into growth. We want the blockbusters, the heavy artillery, those movements that hammer the muscles like a pile driver. Kaboom, Kaboom, Kaboom!
Think thud! Don’t think clink. Think black and white. Don’t think pink.
